He's Out Of My League.

So I am sitting home on this rainy Sunday night watching, She's Out Of My League (great movie) and I feel like everyone can relate to it. Everyone has that 'Great White Buffalo.'

Im the kind of girl that most people would consider outgoing, friendly, even at times flirtacious around the opposite sex. For the people that really know me, know I'm actually pretty shy around boys I am interested in. I get awkward, quiet, say weird things and for the life of me can not relax enough to be myself. So of course nothing ever progresses and I get put in the dreaded friend zone.

There has been one boy in the last year that really comes to mind when I think of this. From the first time I met him last summer I have had a ridiculously big crush on him. I think about him all the time, and have no idea why. I can probably count our conversations on one hand. We dont really have anything in common..not the same interests or anything that would normally start a crush. My friend Ali and I had a serious talk about him the other day and it keeps weighing heavy on mind. She asked me why I let him get to me and why I dont just let him know. After a minute or two of trying to think of why, I had no answer for her. Maybe its me being an average 20 year old girl that is completely enthralled in the chase. If I had that romantic ending on one of those chick flicks where I pour my heart out to him, he grabs my face..tells me he has always felt the same way about me, would I even really want it? If he really was interested, would I still be? No idea.

Why do girls like the boys that arent interested? Why dont we go after the ones that are always there.. the 'great guy friends.' I have some of the most amazing guy friends anyone could ask for. Some I consider really attractive, funny and a lot like me. So why oh why dont I turn my game on and try to start something with someone I know for a fact actually cares about me? Girls just love the challenge and dont understand why they are home alone on a Sunday night. Ridiculous.

i suck at blogging.

Catch up on the last few weeks.. Cambria, Lauren and I decided to leave the house that introduced me to two of my new best friends. Im so excited for the next year of my life with two of the greatest girls I have ever met. We are moving to about, 9th east and 5th south. A lot closer to downtown and the U, so its great for us. Our landlord is awesome, she even told us about how much taxi fair is for a ride home from most of the bars. We picked a winner. Im really nervous to move without my mommy/interior designer. For anyone that has seen my bedroom..Its adorable. I hope I can make my new room just as cute. I'll miss our firs house '3377' and all the memories..But I am sooo stoked to make 1 million more.

My 21st birthday is just around the corner. Lord, help my liver. I have been waiting for this for 21 years. YES. As a present to myself I bought a plane ticket to Phoenix. Im going to have a combined birthday/bachelorette party with my sister, Kailen. It is going to be a shit show and I can not wait. I miss Phoenix and all of the amazing friends I met there. 3 weeks til Im back. Holla. :) 

Nice Guys.

Ode to the Nice Guys
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003